Where are you?
In a non slutty way
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
