I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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