You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
