so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
