I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
