normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
