I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
