Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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