Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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