You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
