I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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