Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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