If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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