There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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