I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
