she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
