TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I pour the whiskey from now on
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
