Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize