I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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