Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize