the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You ruined the universe
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
