I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
