i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
