Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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