Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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