if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
