I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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