I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
