no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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