that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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