Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
