I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
