He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize