I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
