im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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