I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
