Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize