watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
