and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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