Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
