i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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