..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize