so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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