She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
