they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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