He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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