Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
