I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We left the knife in your bed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
