I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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