He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
