i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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