I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
