We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
