to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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