I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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