Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
