Cold hands, warm shart.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
