Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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