so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
