MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
