Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
