So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
