How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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