i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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