He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
