In the future we'll all be gay
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
